Bitte verbessern

  • Thread-Ersteller Thread-Ersteller r.orton
  • Erstellungsdatum Erstellungsdatum

r.orton

L02: Beginner
Thread-Ersteller
Seit
26 Jun 2005
Beiträge
41
Hi, könntet ihr bitte folgenden Text verbessern?

I would like to talk about the civil alternative service in hospital Reinkenheide. I spent six months in an administration . Almost every day I sorted documents and invoices. Furthermore I checked via SAP whether the health insurance company accepted to pay the bill of the patient.Then I calculated how much the patient had to pay for his prescription. Besides I filed folders in a cupboard.Unfortunately my tasks were nearly every day the same. So I was relieved when I had lunch break. In the cafeteria you received a card which had a value of 2,70 Euro. You could choose among three dishes and between mineral water and apple juice. But the little portion caused that you were not satisfied . Additionally there were the same dishes every month .
In my section were 7 employees. The department manager was always talking about his cats and about politics. A colleague drove over a red traffic-light because she wanted to a veterinarian with her ill cat. But the police realized this mistake . So she wrote a letter to explain her behaviour. Unfortunately she had to pay 150 Euro and her cat did not survive.
In the reception a colleague tried to frighten me by shouting my name. After six months I had to leave the administration because it got a trainee. Then I worked in the secretary of the accident surgery (Unfallchirogie). My task was to sort documents. Sometimes a doctor came in and I helped him to find medical reports. Additionally I copied folders and even a book. An employee was often ill consequently there were many substitutions. Furthermore I had to work very fast because the head of physician was very impatient . Therefore there were a lot of stress-situations.
The training course should take place in Bad Oeyn Hausen. But the civil school was overcrowded so I had to spend one week in Ritterhude . We had lesson every day. The teacher talked about our rights and duties.He was funny.For example he imitated George W. Bush. In our leisure we watched TV and played video-games. The meals were very good.They even offered Ente a` l´orange .
 
Klingt nach Erzählung, äh...
Wenns ein Referat werden soll, solltest du es generalüberholen hm...
 
Für den B1-Nachweis in Englisch soll man 15 Minuten über ein Thema seiner Wahl mit jemanden sprechen.Ich hatte mich für das Thema Zivildienst entschieden und dafür einen kleinen Text vorgeschrieben.Es wäre nett , wenn ihr mir bei der Suche nach Rechtschreib- und Grammatikfehlern helfen könntet.
 
Nein , man soll 3 Minuten lang das Thema vorstellen und dann werden Fragen gestellt.
 
Ich denke allein Textkorrektur wird dir nichts bringen ... Stichwort ---> Wortschatz, Inhalt so wirkt alles nur wie eine Aufzählung von Ereignissen ohne viel Zusammenhang.
 
I would like to talk about the civil alternative service in hospital Reinkenheide. I spent six months in an administration . Almost every day I sorted documents and invoices. Furthermore I checked via SAP whether the health insurance company accepted to pay the bill of the patient.Then I calculated how much the patient had to pay for his prescription. Besides I filed folders in a cupboard.Unfortunately my tasks were nearly THE SAME EVERY DAY. So I was relieved when I had lunch break. In the cafeteria you received a card which had a value of 2,70 Euro. You could choose among three dishes and between mineral water and apple juice. But the PORTIONS WERE TO SMALL WHICH LEFT ME HUNGRY. (Caused und satisfied passen in dem zusammenhang überhaupt nicht)ALSO (statt additionally) there were the same dishes every month .
In my section were 7 employees. The department manager was always talking about his cats and about politics. A colleague drove over a red traffic-light because she wanted to GO TO a veterinarian with her SICK (nicht ill) cat. But the police realized this mistake . So she wrote a letter to explain her behaviour. Unfortunately she had to pay 150 Euro and her cat did not survive.
In the reception a colleague tried to frighten me by shouting my name. After six months I had to leave the administration because it got a trainee. Then I worked in the secretary of the accident surgery (Unfallchirogie). My task was to sort documents. Sometimes a doctor came in and I helped him to find medical reports. Additionally I copied folders and even a book. An employee CALLED IN SICK VERY OFTEN, consequently there were many substitutions. Furthermore I had to work very fast because the head of physician was very impatient . Therefore there were a lot of stressy situations.<<<-------
The training course should take place in Bad Oeyn Hausen. But the civil school was overcrowded so I had to spend one week in Ritterhude . We had lesson every day. (??? etnweder lessons oder a lesson) The teacher talked about our rights and duties.He was funny, for example one time he imitated George W. Bush. In our leisure TIME we watched TV and played video-games. The meals were very good.They even offered Ente a` l´orange .
 
Danke Kenneth !

Hier eine Erläuterung zu B1:


Kann die Hauptpunkte verstehen, wenn klare Standardsprache verwendet wird und wenn es um vertraute Dinge aus Arbeit, Schule, Freizeit usw. geht. Kann die meisten Situationen bewältigen, denen man auf Reisen im Sprachgebiet begegnet. Kann sich einfach und zusammenhängend über vertraute Themen und persönliche Interessengebiete äußern. Kann über Erfahrungen und Ereignisse berichten, Träume, Hoffnungen und Ziele beschreiben und zu Plänen und Ansichten kurze Begründungen oder Erklärungen geben.
 
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